Today, fueled by a curiosity, I decided to put my current artist name into the vast abyss of the internet, eager to see what echoes of my creative journey would resound, and as anticipated everything was as I expected. But then, a thought occurred, "what would come up if I put in my old name in."
Oh, the nostalgia that flooded in when I typed those words into the search bar!
First, let me add some context. About eight years, I sashayed the internet as Minky-Bonkey-Foo.
It was a time when creativity was allowed to flow more freely, unbounded by corporate assholes with a hard on for censorship. Self-expression was cool, Tumblr was still at it peak, and you were allowed to present female nipples.
When the search results came up, it was Rule34 that first caught my eye. Back when I went by that name, some random user put what tiny amount of art I had back then, on the xxx version. I was completely amazed that someone took the time to not only upload my art on there, but created a tag for me. So I reached out and thanked them.
It happened again very recently. Although I think this time it was thanks to a friend who knew I was creating again, and all the history along with it, which is still wonderful, but the idea of some random person in the infinite space of the internet, doing something like that for a totally obscure artist, was something truly special.
As I was checking out the gallery, I saw the source link, and of course it was Tumblr. So, I clicked on it, and I was transported back to my mid to late teens, coming out of my shell, expressing my self, all those grand aspirations and big ideas, and how quickly life can beat them out of you.
I scrolled through the ghost town of my old blog, which has since become a big fuck you to Tumblr. A monument to the firebombing of a thriving community. After reading several blog entries, I found myself captivated by the confidence, wit, and infectious energy. It was like I was reading someone else's blog, but it was mine. However, something else came to mind; where had that vibrant spirit disappeared to?
It started after the Tumblr purge, one soul punch after another. My life got flipped, turned upside. Everything I had held dear was being ripped away, my home, my joys, my job, in the end I was effectively homeless and jobless, if not for the kindness of friends. Then some malicious internet asshole decided they were going to try and ruin my life for shits and giggles. I was done.
But out of crap, beautiful flowers grow, and while there is still some shit, at least I have a lush garden to enjoy. One of them being this place. It might be only one tiny flower, in my vast proverbial garden, but I have come to truly appreciate Newgrounds. While the likes of Tumblr have fallen from grace, and even social media in general which continues to be a self-sustaining cesspit of mental health issues, anger and hatred. Newgrounds still stands tall after all these years, like an island rising out of an ocean of bullshit.
Today's adventure down nostalgic paths, in the end, led me to write this blog post. I used to be cool AF. I used to be a sassy, salty bitch, and it's time to reclaim that shit back. And because nothing teaches you life lessons like hard times, I also want to pass on some words of wisdom. I shouldn't need to say this, but for fuck’s sake, don't be a dick or malicious to people on the internet, because you have absolutely no fucking idea what is going on in their lives, so think before you send that comment. The world is full to the brim of entitled hateful people and shit stirrers, don't make it worse, make it better.
On a positive and more importantly, live your life, chase your dreams, be the best you can be, but please be careful. Life is a roguelike, it's constantly changing, and you get no extra lives, but even if you trap yourself there is probably a way out, you just need to persevere.
As the old saying goes, YOLO.
